And Perhaps Insanity
by Diamond Raider
Summary: There is much oddness when the Asylum!Danny and Canon!Danny meet. And perhaps insanity. Oneshot for The Alchemists muse.


In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.**-Douglas Adams**

And Perhaps Insanity By Diamond Raider  


Construction site in Wyoming

Danny grunted out of exertion as he tried to lift the huge slab of rock. Seeing that his human form wasn't strong enough to do the job, he absent-mindedly shifted into his Phantom form, uncaring of the awed gasps and sudden applause the transformation provoked.

Twisting around, he yelped in surprise as he almost ran into Jazz. Only the quick thinking of a shift into intangibility kept him from dropping the hefty stone onto his sister.

"Oh, hey Jazz!" he said cheerfully. "What're you doing here?"

The girl beamed at him. "I'm supervising of course!...though…why are you helping with reconstruction? I would think you had more important things to do." She gazed disapprovingly at the thermos, or more specifically, the shining Capacity Meter.

He sighed, hustling the rock past her to its destination. She followed determinedly. "I'll do that later. Besides, these people need help. That ghost that was here, The Key Holder? It kept spiriting away parts of the building to who knows where." The boy frowned darkly, before grinning brightly. "Ha-ha. Spiriting…cause it's a ghost? You get it?"

Jazz snorted, pushing on her little brother's back with a roll of her eyes. "Yeah, I get it. Now get back to work."

He headed off, talking to the other workers cheerfully when they approached him shyly. The rock was put in its pile, and work continued throughout the day….

_Think of the universes like a large, circular room, lined with doors. Each door is beautifully crafted, and new ones appear everyday. Every time you, or your friend, or your mom, or your neighbor makes a choice, a new door appears, very small variations in the door's design being the only difference from the one next to it._

_The more influence the person has on the people around them, and the more their choices dictate the choices of their peers, the bigger the changes in the door._

_As you can probably imagine, there are very many doors in that room. _

_The person who takes care of the doors, or more aptly, the worlds, is the Key Keeper. This being calls him or herself by various names…._

_- Chapter Two of __Choices: Their Effects__ by Robyn Scholing. _

The GIW Asylum corridor

She walked down the hall in the Asylum confidently, like she owned the place. Swinging a ring of keys and her own hips gently, the long lab coat, and the key card that proclaimed her as Kai Smith, Specialty Scientist, allowed her access near anywhere. And if the key card couldn't help, her mini skirt and low-cut blouse most certainly could.

Grumbling under her breath as she came upon yet ANOTHER door her card wouldn't open, and wishing desperately she could just use the Infinity Keys, Kai turned and smiled sweetly at the man who had been eyeing her long legs appreciatively.

"Hey there," she purred, hunching slightly to give him a better look at her chest. "My silly old boss wanted me to get some files out from that corridor," she pointed to the number 77J. "But he forgot to reprogram my key card." She pouted, and made sure that her shrug affected her ENTIRE upper body. He wasn't even being discreet in his staring, she determined. It was sickening, but she had bigger things to worry about. "Could ya help me out here sweetie?"

The man nodded dumbly, quickening as she 'accidentally' dropped her card and bent over.

When the door was open, she beamed and tucked her short black hair behind her pointed ears. The man hadn't even noticed he'd been duped.

She blew air out between her teeth in exasperation. "Security here sucks…."

82672. 82673….Damn it, where WAS he? She made a frustrated noise, before punching the metallic wall.

"Ow! That hurt!" she wrung her hand in pain, but sashayed on. What was Phantom's number again?…

She paid no heed to the rippled metal her fist had left behind.

GIW Asylum: Phantom's cell

Phantom shivered, the image his own mind had provided was far too real for him.

Lying on the floor, blood gurgling from their mouths, Sam Manson and Tucker Foley created a terrifying image. A bubble in Tucker's mouth burst.

"It's not real…disappear…it's not real…go away…don't want to see….s'not real…." An odd choking noise erupted from Sam's mouth, and she turned her glazed amethyst eyes to his trembling form.

"….Da-nny?" she rasped. "Hel-p…"

He pierced the silence with a strangled scream.

GIW Asylum Corridor

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!" A harsh sobbing noise erupted from cell number 82678. Kai hurried forward to the small room, a delighted grin breaking out on her face.

"Finally! I thought I'd NEVER find it!" Master of the worlds she may be, gifted with directions she was not.

Stopping in front of the thick metal door, the woman eyed her key card pleadingly. "Please work….I don't want to use the Infinity Keys...too much spectral energy… it'd be settin' off every alarm in this place…but I totally don't want people askin' what I need with this guy."

Taking a deep breath, she slid the card in and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Please work, please work, please work…." Peeking one eye open, she let out a frightened squeak.

SECURITY OVERIDE DENIED.

"Ah man….guess I'm gonna have to flirt my way in here…" at this moment, a monotone female voice came upon the loud speaker.

"Access denied for entrance to cell 82678. Cellmate, Phantom. All active troopers and agents to corridor 77J. Repeat, all active troopers and agents to corridor 77J. "

The woman went white.

"Of all times, Clockwork, I wish I had your powers now!" she wailed to the ceiling.

In more of a hurry than ever now, she unhooked a key from her loop, and kissed it once, paying no heed to the shouts of "there she is!" coming from down the hallway.

"Work for mama, baby!" she begged once, before shoving the key through the door, and twisting, as if to unlock a door knob.

Sunbright Hotel in Wyoming, suite 82678 in hallway 77J

Danny fell against the soft downy fabric of the bed in his hotel with a 'whoomph'. He snuggled into the material with a blissful sigh, content just BEING there.

In the corner, the thermos beeped and rattled menacingly.

The GIW Asylum: Phantom's cell

Danny, Kai had to admit, was adorable. As she ran over to the twitching young man, his eyes, which had deep bags, opened. And she was suddenly gazing into emerald orbs surrounded by dark rings. If he wasn't a clingy, emotional, physical and mental wreak, she would totally go out with him. That and the whole trillions of years her junior thing was just a bit of a downer.

"Shh baby…." She cooed soothingly as she kneeled over his straight jacket clad form. "I'm gonna get you outta here for a while. A break sounds nice, right?"

He started, and stared at her wide-eyed before chuckling lightly. "I think you're crazier than I am lady…"

She smiled and stood as she heard people bursting into the room. "Most definitely, sweetheart."

She eyed the troopers in the doorway, before pulling another key off the ring, and turned it in mid air. Grinning, she stepped aside when a turquoise portal appeared, and a blast of fire flew from it. She made a locking motion with the key, and didn't even wait for the portal to disappear before crouching down to pick him up. He looked upset with her.

"What?" she asked him worriedly.

"You…killed those men."

She sighed. "Sorry kiddo, but it couldn't be avoided. We need to haul ass."

He still looked miserable, but nodded in acquiescence.

She turned to the agents. "And unless you want ta be crispy fried, I say you'd best move along!" they glanced at each other, and to the troopers on the floor worriedly.

"Smart boys." She said, laughing at their hesitation. Her hand found another key, replacing the ones she had taken off before with an effortless dexterity. The one she picked out was different; it was a brassy color, instead of the silver and gold of the others.

She unlocked the portal, tightening her grip on Danny as the squarish hole appeared.

"See ya fellas!" she cackled, waving with her free hand. By the time they had gathered their courage, she, and Danny Phantom, were gone.

Sunbright Hotel in Wyoming, suite 82678 in hallway 77J

One thing Danny had not been expecting, was the thermos to burst open. The thing was well-built. Twice as strong as it had been when he first began ghost hunting, thanks to Tucker and his dad's collaboration. It had even been coated in a thick potion that allowed only people with certain DNA or ectoplasmic signature to touch it, assuring Danny wasn't going to be sucked into the thermos by some random ghost.

The thing that came out was slim and willowy, the color of old parchment. It was the same ghost that had caused all the destruction in the town earlier by using a copper colored key to open portals and suck in the parts of buildings that kept them grounded. It was fast, and strong, but he had yet to hear it speak. Now was as good a time as any.

"Hello Danny Phantom." It said in a throaty hiss. "I trust you remember me?"

He nodded, shifting into Phantom form solemnly. "Are you here to cause more trouble?" he asked tiredly.

"No." It said. It then laughed, an odd sound if Danny had ever heard one. A harsh tinny resonance that that shook him inside and out. He liked it even less than he liked the thing's voice.

"What are you going to do then?" he asked, eying the thing warily.

"Follow the orders my mistress gave me."

The key he hadn't noticed twisted through the air, and he felt something push him into a violet portal.

The last thing he heard was a guttural "Have fun, Danny Phantom…" And then? There was nothing.

The Corridor.

A body landed with a thud on a marble floor, and disrupted Kai and Danny's debate. (Orange's verses Apples if you were curious. Kai argued the holiness of everything citrus, and the orange especially, because it was the god of all citrus, but Danny staunchly protected apple's reputation. Unfortunately, he was never in debate club, so he lost.)

"Oooh! He's HERE!" She squealed excitedly, jumping up. "This whole plan has gone just PERFECT so far!" She twirled once, before skipping over to the body on the floor.

Danny (and from now on, he gets to be called Phantom. Because he's just cool like that.) Sat wide-eyed from his place on the floor. Sure, Kai had iterated her entire plan to him, complete with sound effects and glorious hand movements, but he kind of expected her to be a crazy lady. He didn't think she could pull it off….but judging from the body lying on the floor, when she said she was going to do something, she was GOING to do something.

….She was still crazy though….

"Wake uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup Danny-dear!" she sang, nudging him with her foot. "I get to 'splaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain now!"

His younger self groaned, and muttered a 'go away Jazz' to the floor. Kai looked fed up. So she kicked him. And if Phantom was any judge, the pained yelp meant it had hurt.

"Huh?" the boy looked up, and gazed at first Kai (who squealed in excitement) and then at Phantom, who gave a tiny wiggle of hello from his straight jacket.

His counterpart slid smoothly into Phantom form, eying the two dangerously. "Who are you?!" he demanded. "Why am I here?!"

Kai smiled. "I'm Kai Smith, otherwise known as The Key Keeper, The Great One, God of this Dimension, and World Watcher Extraordi-NAIRE!" she curtseyed, and pointed at Danny "And this is you…from a different world!" Danny raised an eyebrow.

"Lady, you're crazy." He deadpanned.

She just snickered into her hand. "More than you know love."

He eyed her again. "What was that thing from earlier?" he asked. She clapped excitedly.

"Oh Heart-Man? Or…was that one Butch?" she paused frowning thoughtfully. "I'm not sure which one he was….they all look identical….But um….he's my minion!"

"Minion? What do you need minions for, oh Great One?" the boy asked sarcastically.

She frowned. "I'll have you know that being the Key Keeper is a tough (and really boring) job. 'Watch this world….and that one…oh, and that one too.' Do you know how many worlds there are?" she didn't give them a chance to answer. "A whole freakin' lot, that's how many!" she threw up her hands. "So…I hired a couple (okay…more than a couple) minions, gave them each a key to a really boring world, and got to watch the fun worlds. All good."

Danny blinked and Phantom tilted his head curiously. "That's really lazy." Danny told her.

"Is not."

"Is too." Phantom inserted happily.

Danny went on, ignoring them both. "But why are we here?"

Kai paused, shifting uncomfortably. "Mmmm…I'll tell you if you sit down..."

Danny peeked at her distrustfully for a few seconds, before tripping over to Phantom, and plopping beside him. They gazed at each other in interest for a few seconds, before Phantom beamed at the other joyously. Danny couldn't help but smile back. This other him was nowhere near as bad as Phantasmus.

Kai sat down in front of them crisscross applesauce. "Well. I suppose I should give you a history lesson, eh?" Danny shrugged. Phantom just smiled bemusedly.

"Hm….a very long time ago, the god of the entire galaxy got bored and decided to make a new one. This one in fact. And since he wanted this universe to be a lot of fun, he passed up all his stuffy old advisers and stinky elder children, and offered the job of Key Keeping to his youngest, and most funnest daughter. She accepted, and thus…" the woman brandished her hands around. "You get the universe. Cool, right?"

Danny shrugged a second time. "Um…yeah…sure….but still….why am I here?"

The woman's lips quirked upwards. "Because I wanted you to meet the Danny Phantom from another world. You two have the most fun worlds to watch, and I always wondered what would happen if you were to meet." She scowled. "I gotta say though, aside's from breakin' the poor guy outta the 'sylum, this hasn't really been that much fun."

"It happens." Phantom told her soothingly. She sniffled and dropped her head. One eye peeked out from under her bangs forlornly. "Aren't you going to comfort me too?" Danny rolled his eyes.

"I think you kind of brought your boredom on yourself."

She bit her lip. "True…I suppose you too want to go home now?"

Danny nodded sharply. "Even though you're the god of this universe, you still kidnapped me." He paused. "Which is…ah….mean and bad. Don't do it again."

She smirked. "It happens."

Phantom frowned. "Could I stay here for a while?"

She giggled. "Only if you kiss me!" She leaned forward, lips puckered.

The Danny's looked at each other in disgust.

"Ah…never mind…" Phantom muttered sourly.

"Ah, well, can't say I expected anything other than that." The woman pulled two keys off the ring, and opened the halfa'a worlds at the same time.

Phantom stood up as best he could and hobbled over to his world. Danny striding to stand in front of his own portal grimly. Kai smiled beatifically, before cracking them both in the back of the neck, and pushing them back into their own worlds.

"Well," she sighed. "That was boring."

Sunbright Hotel in Wyoming, suite 82678 in hallway 77J

Danny Phantom woke with a moan in his hotel room. "What a weird dream…" he murmured, before slumping back down onto the floor, into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The GIW Asylum: Phantom's cell

Danny Phantom groaned into the silence of his cell. "I hope I never have a hallucination like that again." He mumbled.

In the back of his head, the mental version of Kai his mind had created during their short meeting, laughed maniacally.

* * *

Authors Note: This is The-Alchemist's-muse's (she is located both here, and on Deviantart) request for the one year anniversary of her amazing comic, Asylum. This might be a bit confusing if you haven't read the comic. (there is a story located on this site)

Took about three days to write, and it came out even more useless and anti-climatic than I had been expecting. ; I do have a fondness for it though...


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